In planning your wedding, you will eventually have to decide who makes the invitation list and who does not. Although many people will be eliminated, there will always be those few people you decide you do not want at your wedding, but you are somehow socially obligated to invite them. In this list of somewhat "undesirable" friends and relatives are usually the ones that are sure to make the situation awkward for everyone else.
Whether they are friends, an ex, or a relative, you have no doubt that having them at your wedding will be a ticking time bomb, however, you can take a few steps towards defusing the situation. If you are lucky, you may be able to it escape this situation by not inviting your embarrassing associate, but it may not be that simple. If you do not invite them and they find out about the wedding date, they are likely to crash the wedding or, more likely, make your life a living hell long before and after your wedding day. If the people you are worried about attending your wedding are sure to hear about it, depending on how determined you are to ensure they are not at your wedding, you may have to confront them.
Telling them you do not want them there will probably end whatever relationship you have, but if you are set against having them at your wedding, you probably are not close to them anyway. However, this possibility is out of the question if your embarrassing person is a close relative or in good graces with your fiance, but it does not mean that you are out of options. The worst case scenario is that your embarrassing guest will respond to the priest when he asks if anyone has any objections or reasons you should not be married. This happens very rarely however, if someone does have an objection hopefully, unless the objection is based on some lawful prohibition, the minister will quickly move on.
If you anticipate this happening tell the minister of the possibility and you may want to employ the help of your friends and family to calmly and quietly prevent it from happening. Hopefully a stern talk will help, but if there is any doubt, plying them with drink could be the answer for some. Beware however, a drunken guest can be much harder to handle that a sober one.
Some people suggest slipping them a sedative but I would not recommend it. It is a felony and if something goes wrong then you could find yourself in jail rather than on your honeymoon. Depending on how extreme your black sheep is, you may want to avoid them on your wedding day, but if they must be there, pluck up the courage and talk to them before hand. It is often all that is needed to stave off disaster.
Hopefully, they will respect your wishes and acknowledge how important your wedding day is to you, but if this is not effective, you may still have an awkward situation on your hands. If, after talking to them, your anxieties are still strong your only real option is to ask them to stay away, after all it is your wedding.
Andi Michaels is the father of 4 grown up children and writes regularly on family related topics including parenting and wedding gift and much more
